“Bit o’ raspberry jam back there! Got the loot, kept the money, job well done! Euw I think we need to stop…”
Wannabe SAS mercenary Spence (Sean Bean) loses his dinner in guns-for-hire action thriller Ronin…
Mr Creosote works his way through the menu…
(Oops I thought I’d already posted this, so pray excuse the backdating 😉 )
Whilst Guest House Paradiso does not offer much in the way of cinematic excellence, it certainly covers most bases when it comes to capturing on-screen emesis, so without wishing to excessively pollute your minds all in one go, I’m going to split up the various vomits into, ahem, bitesize chunks.
If you don’t know the plot of GHP – and for your sake, I really hope you don’t – Ade Edmondson and Rik Mayall play pretty much the same characters they always play, except here they’re running Britain’s worst hotel, which is conveniently (for plot purposes) sited next to a nuclear power station on the coast. They’re rude, obnoxious, larcenous, violent and incompetent, and have ended up feeding their guests with fish fallen out of trucks driving past the hotel. Yes, the trucks came from the nuclear plant. Yes, there was a nuclear accident. Yes, lots of innocent fishies were turned radioactive. Yes, this is going to turn out unpleasant.
I only watched it because I was so intrigued by the level of embarrassment shown towards it by Kate Ashfield and Simon Pegg on the Shaun Of The Dead commentaries (it was the first time they’d worked together, IIRC – Bill Nighy’s in it too). I think they were right to be embarrassed, though TBF neither are particularly bad in it themselves, and a cash paying job is a cash paying job. It’s just not a very good film, and one executed moderately well only in places. Generically European actors-for-hire Vincent Cassel and Hélène Mahieu are cheesy grin great though.
But onto HonkWatch.
To kick off, it’s the turn of the poor kitty 😦
Gnaghi the mute sexton gets all overemotional with Valentina the mayor’s daughter in Dellamorte Dellamore (aka Cemetery Man).
Given that it stars Rupert Everett I didn’t have high hopes for this one, but it’s nicely done. Everett tends the graveyard in a small Italian town where the dead have a tendency to reanimate after interment. He falls in love with a woman. Local bureaucracy and zombie mayhem ensues. It’s directed by Michele Soavi, who worked with Dario Argento.
Devil-child Regan serves Father Karras some piping-hot pea soup in The Exorcist…